Monthly Archives: August 2022

Va. Va. Voom.

Enter the latest shill for leafy produce in capsule form:  A spokesperson who was somebody at one time who used to beg contestants to name song titles way back when (“Name it!”), then promoted to be paired with a used-to-be also ran on a talk show.  Now, a little pulled, nipped, and tucked a bit too tight, this spokesperson discovered a renewed joie de vivre from a bottle or two.  Though this person “doesn’t want to look tired,” and takes the bottled capsules to achieve that look, I can see that the capsules of questionable produce ain’t doing the job.

“Va-roooom.  Va-roooom.”  With all the might of a souped-up engine on a motorcycle, this spokesperson imitates a motorcycle.  A few more words to sell the product, then it’s “I.  Got.  My.  Va.  Va.  Voom.  Back,” as this spokesperson’s makes a final statement.

Damn.  I know times are tough and the recession is in full swing, but—

©2022 Colcannon Metropolis, Thoughts from the Terrace on a Rainy Day, Aren’t They Just!, Points Well Taken.